Testing thoughts

Hello,

Two tests in the morning went long so we missed our recesses.  Phys. Ed. came at an opportune time, but then I made sure we got outside to get some fresh air as well.  We got into the sunshine and wrote down our observations and our random thoughts.  Then we came inside and did some stream of consciousness writing based on one of our thoughts.  My writing was based on this one thought:  I wish I was a better teacher.  That thought was based on the morning testing process that, at times, made me want to pull my hair out.  I know that a majority of kids did well.  I saw some essays that were so well put together, my heart leapt.  I know that I need to hold on to those.  Unfortunately what sticks in my craw are the few essays that were answered in a sentence or two.  Or the absolutely beautiful essay... on the wrong topic.  Or the lines that didn't make any sense at all.  Each blunder makes me question my teaching.  How did that not get through?  It is difficult.  These kids are my kids.  Their mistakes are mine.  I just have to do better. 

It's like a team losing at the championship game.  The coach runs around saying, "Remember how this feels.  Let this fuel your off-season training.  Let this motivate you to become better."  That's how I felt today.  I didn't think the tests were too hard.  Each child should have done well.  If they knew what they should, they would have done well.  It's my motivation to try harder, read more, ask more questions of other teachers.  

I'm not fishing for moral support.  I'm strong.  I just felt the need to let you know my thoughts this afternoon.  We're on the same team.  We want the same thing. 

Most of you know my stance on tests.  I'm not a big fan.  But our kids live in a society that places a lot of value on them.  Our kids need to be able to show what they know.  They need to be able to figure things out and answer clearly and concisely. 

We are all a work in progress.

Have a good night.

Mr. Shea